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Did I translate this correctly? (For good Japanese speakers)?

I’m studying Japanese and decided to try and translate a song to practice. Did I translate it correctly? Savin’ Me by Nickelback

Hello, I am Japanese.
It is very difficult to translate songs…What I will write from now on would be not colloquial style, but a little lyric.

****
Kangoku no mon, watashi wo tozashita mama
Prison gates won’t open up for me
haitukubatte iru watashi
On these hands and knees I’m crawling
Ah, kimi no moto e
Oh I reach for you
Obieteru, kono basyo ni
I’m terrified of these four walls
Tojikomeru koto nante dekinai, Tetu-goushi nanka ja, watashi no tamashii wa
These iron bars can’t hold my soul in
Kimi, hituyou nano wa sore dake…
All I need is you
****
Kangoku no seki boku no tameni kirihirakanai
(“seki” is rarely used, and not poetic very much to me. But, on the whole, you wrote good enough!)
Sono te to hiza no ue ni shinobiyoteru
(If I’m wrong, I’m sorry, but doesn’t “crawl on one’s hands and knees” mean “hau” or “haitukubaru” in Japanese? “shinobiyotteru” is a interesting expression.)
Ah, kimi ni tsuku
(This is interesting as itself, but “tsuku” is rarely used when the object is a person.)
Sono yonmai kara ojita
(I’m sorry, but I could not understand your composition very well. Doesn’t “these four walls” mean “where one is” ??)
Sono aian no ba- wa boku no tamashii o hikararenai
(Your composition is almost correct. The only mistake is “hikararenai”. Would the original form be “hiku” ? In any case, the subject of your sentence is “ba-”, so the passive voice is not applied.)
Kimi da iru subete
(This is interesting, but I suppose it is a little awkward. The connection between “Kimi da” and “iru subete” is a little strange, it is difficult to understand. A literal translation of “All I need is you” is “watashi ni hituyou nano wa kimi dake da”)

Could you understand what I am saying??
I hope I aided you.

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